The Cost of Giving

When I was a little girl in kindergarten, there was another girl in my class who didn't own any dresses at all. I had a closet full of them. In fact, I barely owned a pair of shorts. It was beyond my ability to comprehend a girl without dresses. When the child confided in me the fact that she had no dresses, that they in fact did not have the money for dresses, I was floored. As soon as I got home I begged my parents to let me give her some of mine. How could they refuse? I didn't just pick out some of my least favorites. I picked out the prettiest ones I had and gave them to the girl. This is a story that my mother proudly tells to this day.

It should be no surprise to me that my son has a generous heart. My husband and I are both givers and we would expect no less of him. Sometimes there are great consequences to giving, especially when you give up something you love.

I had noticed that Jamie was slipping his cars to school and that they were not coming back. I didn't think much of it, since he has a bloody billion. They're also small and easy to lose. Yesterday, however, he pitched a fit to take meerkat to school. This is not unusual. He loves meerkat. When I got him off the bus he told me, "I gave Shawnte my meerkat." Thinking that it was just on the bus with another child I went back to the bus and told the driver that he had left his stuffed animal. She said, "Oh, no, he gave the meerkat to Shawnte. I hope you don't mind." I mumbled something about getting it back later, knowing I probably would never see it again, despite his name being written on the tag.

On the walk to the house Jamie tried to explain about giving the meerkat to Shawnte. I asked him if he meant to give it away forever. I told him he would never get to see meerkat again. He told me that he understood.

At 12:30am Jamie woke up with a night terror. I calmed and coaxed him. I brought him to bed with me and gathered up all three Eeyores. "Where's meerkat?!!" I knew it. "Honey, you gave meerkat away. He's not here. His eyes welled up with tears, but he didn't argue like I had thought he would. I thought he would demand I get it and have us both in a panicked frenzy. It didn't happen. I was relieved. This is Jamie's first lesson about the cost of being a giver. I don't think it will change his attitude about giving. He just knows the true sacrifice now.