Mother of Life, Mother of Loss: Is One More Miracle Too Much to Ask For?

This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Is One More Miracle Too Much to Ask For?

My hcg is 43,143.20 and my progesterone is 29.6. That progesterone level is awsome. The hcg level rose even less than it did last time. I'm sure that this means that my tiny little Baby A is gone, but I can't stand having this up in the air until July 2nd. I begged for an ultrasound. She said that it was so close to the last one that we wouldn't see much different. I told her that I just want to see if there were still two. She said that the ultrasound tech would be there on Monday and when I come to have my levels run again she would try to get me a scan if they weren't too busy.

I really wanted them both. I really feel that it's already over for Baby A, but miracles happen, so if you could just say an extra prayer for my tiny little baby, maybe God will give me one more miracle.