This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Saturday, December 12, 2009


The past two days a friend of mine has come to help me clean my house and get ready for the baby. It is so hard for me to accept help, but I had to. I can not do this alone. The nursery was Jamie's play room and everything had to be moved to our guest room and fixed up for Jamie. We don't want him losing play space to the new baby! She did a lovely job fixing it up for him. He was very happy. He's quit sleeping in his bedroom and has been sleeping in the new playroom. She also cleaned my big bathroom and did my dishes. She'll be back a lot, too. It's so hard to let someone do that! It's embarrassing to let others see your mess. It's hard to sit by and watch others work. I really appreciate her help, though. Matthew is working two jobs right now and he just doesn't have the time or energy to get these things done. I don't know what I would do without her.

Neglected Blog

You would think that with all the excitement over the last several months that my blog would be full and quite entertaining. I'm not sure why that has not been the case, as I have had time to write.

I will try to fill in some blanks over the last few months in the next few posts. I'll give them the correct dates so that my blog won't be a huge mess. I like to keep up with this blog as a record of my life with my son and soon my daughter. I am now confined to bed rest, probably for the duration of my pregnancy. Surely I can manage to write a snippet or two every day since I can do little else.


Friday, December 11, 2009

Too Many Presents

I've been putting out a present a night under the tree to build up Christmas anticipation for Jamie. This morning Jamie informed me that I was putting too many presents under the tree and that there wouldn't be room for Santa's gifts.


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Bed Rest or Bust

I am now 31 weeks 6 days. At my OB appointment today my fluid had dropped again. My doctor really got on to me about staying in bed. I told him that I had to do certain things. I have to cook, wash dishes, and do some laundry. I'm a mom with a 5 year old. He told me that I needed to go buy some paper plates and inlist family and/or friends to help around the house. He said to tell him now if I couldn't do it and he'd go ahead and admit me to the hospital. If my fluid drops more he's admitting me anyway. I told him I'd find away. I really don't want to be hospitalized and away from Jamie, especially for Christmas. The good news is that my cervix looks great and the baby is growing well. She measured nearly 4lbs today.

I got a few ultrasound pictures but because of the low fluid they were very difficult to see. I couldn't even get a 4D with the fluid so low. Jamie got to be there since my appointment was after school so it's really a shame we couldn't get a better view of his baby sister.


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Baby Bath

Jamie and I were watching Babies: Special Delivery and we saw a baby born. I'm hoping he will be there for the birth so we talked about the "yucky stuff" on the baby and how his baby would be yucky at first, too, but they would clean her off. Jamie said, "Can we put her in the bath tub? I love her in the bath tub."


Monday, December 7, 2009

Kindergarten Christmas Tree Project

Jamie had to make a Christmas tree for school. His teacher sent the paper already cut out and Jamie had to decorate it. He did this almost completely by himself. I had to draw a star for him to cut out and I had to show him how to tape the curling ribbon behind the tree, but that's all. I think it turned out quite cute.


Sunday, December 6, 2009


I finally have my crib and crib bedding. I think it's so pretty and unique. I didn't want a cookie cutter nursery. I wish my nursery was all put together already, but there's so much left to do. I need to redo the floors, paint, get curtains, a throw rug, a slipcover for the rocker, a new light, and decorations. At the moment it seems impossible that we might be able to get all that before she arrives.

Friday, December 4, 2009

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

I had wanted to put up our tree after Thanksgiving dinner, but since I am on bed rest I have little control over what gets done and when. Matthew was too tired to do it. A few days later he finally got around to pulling it out of the attic. Once put together we found that our poor pre-lit tree was no longer lit, at least a lot of it wasn't lit. I was so disappointed. Matthew went to the store a few days later and bought an inexpensive pre-lit tree. With the baby coming we couldn't not afford to put a lot of money in the tree. It was a little disappointing to look at it once it was put up. It is not very full. After being decorated, it cleaned up pretty nice, though. I am so happy to have a tree up and really enjoyed watching Jamie decorate it.

I stayed up late last night to surprise Jamie with a Christmas Countdown Calendar. I think it turned out pretty cute. I did it with a piece of green poster board. I used foam craft paper to make the ornaments and even cut out aluminum foil for the tops to make them look more realistic. If you've never tried to cut anything small out of aluminum foil you are really missing out on some fun (if you could hear me say that you could note the sarcasm dripping from my tongue).


Thursday, December 3, 2009

I'm a Big Brother by Ronne Randall

I read this book to Jamie tonight. I wasn't expecting to get emotional, but I did. I cried and my voice cracked. At times I couldn't get the words to come out. Thinking about my precious miracle boy being a big brother is just so emotional for me.

This book is about a little boy who becomes a big brother. He is anxious for the baby to become big enough to play, but it takes so long for baby to grow! This really made me think of Jamie because he says he won't like his sister until she's big. He wants her big enough to play, too.


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

30 Weeks 6 Days 4D Ultrasounds

My fluid increased "a smidge". Yes, I think that's the correct medical term the OB used. My little girl has turned and is head down now. The tech didn't think she'd be able to get a 4D image of her today because she didn't have much fluid around her face, but we got a couple of adorable pictures. I absolutely love the little fingers!
I'm still relegated to the bed, as I imagine I will be for the remainder of my pregnancy. I stay in bed as much as possible, but with Matthew working all the time it's very difficult. I know I'm not supposed to be cleaning, but if I don't do the dishes and laundry we will have nothing to eat off of and no clothes to wear! I try to do as little as possible, but there are just some things that must be done.


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Can a Mom Really be on Bed Rest?

It is difficult to see in this picture because the flash on Nathaniel's white fur obscured the marks, but Jamie colored our cat with green marker. He has marker on his face, neck, and paws. You would think you could turn your back on a coloring five year old for a few moments without something of this nature happening. Need I even mention the mess he made of the room and of himself?