This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

I've recently had a pretty big falling out with a friend. To say that there is no hope for reconciliation would be the understatement of the century. Even though I know I don't need her in my life, this has all the feelings of a bad breakup. I've been through plenty of breakups in my life, but this is a new experience. I've never had a child involved in any breakup before.

I miss the old relationship, but my son misses his friends, too. You see, she had two children that are close to Jamie in age and he loved going over to her house. I thought we were so close that I wanted her her to be the one that got Jamie if anything ever happened to Matthew and I. I let her watch Jamie and I really don't let anyone do that. I trusted her and she hurt me worse than any boyfriend who dumped me ever did, but I'm not going to get into that here.

Jamie and I went to her home fairly frequently and he asks to go all the time. What I want to say is, "So and so is mean and we can never see her again." Way wrong thing, huh? Another thing I want to do is throw out every remnant of her existence out of my house. That would be pretty hard since most of those are his. I can't delete pictures that involve her because I would have to delete his birthdays and special occasions. I can't get rid of the gifts she gave him. I'm torn between hating her and missing her. He just misses his friends. It's as simple as that. He has no idea why we can't go see them ever again. I don't know what to tell him.

Who knew that even after you are all grown up and happily married, you could still experience the heart wrenching pain of a bad breakup?

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