This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Done With HCG

My hcg level on Monday was 54,000. Today it is 59,486. I no longer have to go every other day to have my levels checked. I go back a week from today on July 2nd for my first "real" appointment. I'll get another ultrasound when I go. It will be the first time that Matthew and Jamie get to see the baby, except in the pictures. I wonder if you'll still be able to see Baby A. It's awful because I kind of hope you can. I don't want him to be gone.

I'm having a little bit of trouble right now because I don't feel pregnant. I have quite a bit of cramping and sharp pains. Matthew said that happened when I was pregnant with Jamie, but I don't remember it. I remember feeling a bit crampy around four weeks and thinking I had a failed cycle.

I really can't wait until the first trimester is over. I really think I'll be able to relax a little bit once the cerclage is placed and I'm past the danger zone for initial cerclage complications (ruptured membranes, infection, etc.).

I'm not at home right now. When I get home I'll put up my ultrasound shots from Monday.

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