This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A Visit to the Pediatrician

Jamie's growing pains ended up not being growing pains at all. He has the flu. I happened to have my camera in my purse so I snapped a few shots of him at the doctor. He didn't appear all that sick at first, but as the time passed his fever went up and by the time the doctor came in he was feeling pretty horrible.

The real reason the appointment was originally scheduled had nothing to do with illness, though. If you've been reading about Jamie for a long time then you know that we've been trying to figure out for a long time if he has an Autism Spectrum Disorder or not. He's had a bit of trouble at school. I told his doctor about it when we were there getting his five year shots and he wanted to evaluate him again right away. This is the appointment we set for that. His pediatrician thinks it's clear that Jamie has Asperger's Syndrome. We are getting a referral to see a specialist.


Monday, September 21, 2009

Growing Pains

Jamie's legs have been hurting every morning for several days, maybe a week now. It concerns me a little, but he seems to be fine after a short bit. I told it was probably growing pains, more to myself than to him. He whined, "I don't want to grow up. I want to stay like this!"

He started this last night. He didn't want to eat his green beans, which he loves, because I told him they would help him grow up big and strong.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Jamie's Announcement

My appointment went very well today. My cervix looked very long. It was closed and there was no funnelling. It looks like I really am getting the normal pregnancy I've always dreamed of. I get to go in for another ultrasound on the 24TH to check my cervix again, and of course get another peek at the baby. I'll leave the official gender announcement up to Jamie...

Of course, upon getting this news, I was anxious to go shopping and find something adorable for the baby! Unfortunately, the stores I visited today were sorely lacking in clothes that I found irresistible, so I came home empty handed. *sigh*


New Background

I haven't taken the time to put up a new background in quite awhile. I really didn't care for my last background very much. It was just so busy. I really like the papers and elements I found to use for this one. The elements came from Joni Gray Digiscraps and the papers are from With a Russian/Dutch Heart Design. I appreciate both designers offering these wonderful free digital scrapbooking kits so I could create a beautiful new blog background!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Jamie's Gymboree Order

I love to shop. It's a good thing I have to budget or I would be a shopping addiction. I buy Jamie Gymboree and here is what I ordered tonight.

5 pairs

It's awesome when you can hit a good sale, have a coupon, and earn Gymbucks! Yeah, that means I can get even more next month!!

Monday, September 14, 2009


I got the volunteer sign up sheet for Jamie's school Friday. I found it so difficult to fill out. I want to volunteer for everything, but it's for the whole school year. Will i be able to come Fridays in February to do this? Can I man a booth at the Carnival in April? It's kind of a bummer. I want to be so involved, but I have no idea what's going to be possible. I signed up for as many things as I thought I would surely be able to find a way to do and left notes on it that I would do anything that I could and that my baby was due in February.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

19 Week Appointment & Jamie's Shots

My 19 week appointment went fine. I didn't get an ultrasound, but we listened to the heartbeat and the baby is doing just fine. My OB said not to worry about pain in my cervix and spotting. That's all to be expected. He actually said the pain was good because with IC you don't feel it when you open and with the cerclage I'll definitely feel it ...if I start to dilate. My cervix is 2.5 to 3cm long and that's fine. We go back next Thursday, the seventeenth to have our ultrasound and learn the gender! I can't wait. There's not much new to report for now.

Jamie also had to go to his doctor Wednesday morning. He had to have a few shots. I was very proud of what a big boy he was. He didn't cry. When the nurse brought the shots in she asked him if he would get on the table and he got on it without any fuss. He said quite matter-of-factly, "I'm scared." He laid down on the table and held my hand and Eeyore. He did cry after he was actually poked, but he didn't scream or try to get away. I thought he did fabulous.

They weighed him and he weighed 42 pounds. He's growing so fast. He got to go with us to the OB appointment since it was directly after his appointment and there was not enough time to take him back to school. He kept saying that he wanted to go to the room with the screen. He wanted to see the baby. I told him that I did, too, but that we couldn't this time. He so sweet.

He told my mother yesterday that the boy had died but when the babies came out the doctor would put a shot in it's mouth and it would be alive again. We explain that the baby was gone and there would be only one. Sometimes it seems like he gets that, but sometimes he pops out with something that tells me he's still a bit confused, or maybe it's just a case of wishful thinking.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Freebies I Found in the Wee Hours of the Morning

Get Free Candy on Fridays!

To help prevent cord accidents, the Window Covering Safety Council provides consumers with free cord stops, tassels and tie-down devices. A safety brochure with retro fit instructions is included with each order.

FREE subscription toCreative Ideas Magazine
Receive our exclusive bi-monthly printed publication full of great ideas for your home and garden.

Free 2010 Wildlife Calendar
Wildlife Forever's 22nd annual calendar is free to those that are the list for the early October mailing. The 2010 calendar is filled with the exceptional work of several of America's most accomplished wildlife photographers. Get on the list by September 15th and your free 2010 wildlife calendar will be in your hands in just a few weeks.

FREE Board Book From Leap Frog!

So what does a pregnant woman do all night if she can't sleep. Well, if she is me, she looks up freebies all night.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Urgent - Bunny of the Loose!

I put the little rescued bunny in my garage to make sure it would stay warm for the night. The garage is not air conditioned. When I woke up to check on it this morning it was no longer in the box. It had squeezed through the flaps. I guess it's a good thing I didn't leave the box on my kitchen table.

I looked the garage over, but there are so many places for a tiny little rabbit to hide. I will have to wait until my husband gets home to find it. There are too many heavy boxes and shelves, not to mention appliances. I have a freezer out there, as well as my washer and dryer.

Hopefully the little guy is okay out there.

Always Scared

I'm 18 weeks and 4 days now, but still find this pregnancy terrifying. I think I might have felt the baby a few times but I'm unsure. I think I should feel more by now. I have an appointment on Wednesday and I'm nervous. It's easy for me to convince myself that this baby is not alive.

Often I feel pinching and pressure on my cervix. I'm not sure, but I'm assuming this is normal with the cerclage. I haven't had any real bleeding.

Anyway, just wanted to post a quick update on how the pregnancy is going. We'll be finding out the gender soon. I am looking forward to that.

First Few Weeks of School

These first few weeks of school have flown by rather quickly. Jamie really enjoys school and he likes his teacher. He still misses his preschool teacher some, though.

He hasn't brought home much work yet, but at the Open House his teacher said that she doesn't send much home in the beginning. She sent home a list of sight words and we're working on those. I put the words on cards and attached each group of words to key rings to help him learn.

Jamie is still resistant to using lower case letters. I'm not sure why, but his teacher is working with him on it and so am I.

His teacher has a red light, yellow light, green light system of rating behavior issues. So far he has not had any problems and has received a sticker every day.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Bunny Rescue

Tonight I heard something screaming while I sat on the couch. I jumped up and ran out the door to discover my cat Wee 'un with this little rabbit in his mouth. I must have looked like a crazy fool chasing my cat and screaming for him to let it go. I finally grabbed my cat by the back of the neck and forced him to let it go. I threw Wee 'un in the house and ran to get a box. I ran back out to find the poor bunny surrounded by all three of the other neighborhood cats. The bunny ran into some tomato plants and then seemed to freeze in terror. Honestly, it had nowhere to go and no hope. I scooped him up and put him in the box. I threw Wee 'un back outside and googled information about the bunny. I think this is an Eastern cottontail, about a month and a half old. I put grass and some of the tomato plant in the box with a baby diaper and cotton balls to keep him warm. He has a tiny cut on his shoulder. It appears to be just a prick from my cats tooth. I'm not sure what to do with this little guy now. I guess I'll figure it out when my husband gets home this evening.