Sometimes I obsess over my parenting flaws. I'm not very structured, which everyone says that Jamie needs. I try, but I'm just not a structured person and I can't seem to follow through with concrete routines for very long. Sometimes I raise my voice out of frustration. You don't know how relieved I was to hear his teacher raise her voice in the same way and pop out with several of the phrases that I find myself routinely using. It's comforting to know that other mothers are responding in the same way. I don't have much experience with good mothers to pattern my behaviors by. I doubt my own instincts sometimes.
In some ways I am so excited to see the man that he will become. In other ways I wish that I could stop time (or even rewind it) and keep things just as they are right now.