This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Cost of Giving

When I was a little girl in kindergarten, there was another girl in my class who didn't own any dresses at all. I had a closet full of them. In fact, I barely owned a pair of shorts. It was beyond my ability to comprehend a girl without dresses. When the child confided in me the fact that she had no dresses, that they in fact did not have the money for dresses, I was floored. As soon as I got home I begged my parents to let me give her some of mine. How could they refuse? I didn't just pick out some of my least favorites. I picked out the prettiest ones I had and gave them to the girl. This is a story that my mother proudly tells to this day.

It should be no surprise to me that my son has a generous heart. My husband and I are both givers and we would expect no less of him. Sometimes there are great consequences to giving, especially when you give up something you love.

I had noticed that Jamie was slipping his cars to school and that they were not coming back. I didn't think much of it, since he has a bloody billion. They're also small and easy to lose. Yesterday, however, he pitched a fit to take meerkat to school. This is not unusual. He loves meerkat. When I got him off the bus he told me, "I gave Shawnte my meerkat." Thinking that it was just on the bus with another child I went back to the bus and told the driver that he had left his stuffed animal. She said, "Oh, no, he gave the meerkat to Shawnte. I hope you don't mind." I mumbled something about getting it back later, knowing I probably would never see it again, despite his name being written on the tag.

On the walk to the house Jamie tried to explain about giving the meerkat to Shawnte. I asked him if he meant to give it away forever. I told him he would never get to see meerkat again. He told me that he understood.

At 12:30am Jamie woke up with a night terror. I calmed and coaxed him. I brought him to bed with me and gathered up all three Eeyores. "Where's meerkat?!!" I knew it. "Honey, you gave meerkat away. He's not here. His eyes welled up with tears, but he didn't argue like I had thought he would. I thought he would demand I get it and have us both in a panicked frenzy. It didn't happen. I was relieved. This is Jamie's first lesson about the cost of being a giver. I don't think it will change his attitude about giving. He just knows the true sacrifice now.

2 Remarks:

Ashley May 27, 2009 at 1:10 PM  

That's a sweet story. Hunter has recently learned the same kind of lesson. Our new rule is that every time he gets a new toy he must pick an old one out to give away. We take him to the Caring Community Center here in town and he gets to hand it over. It makes me cry every time...but he has yet to cry!

VivC June 7, 2009 at 2:52 AM  

Oh, my God! What an amazing boy you have.