This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.


Saturday, May 16, 2009

There's Less of Me

I've been on my low-carb diet again. I really want to drop some weight before Jamie starts school in the fall. I want to have more confidence when I start meeting other parents. I don't want the first impression to be "fat and lazy". I've been trying to walk every day, though I admit I haven't been following through with that very well. I am doing well on my diet. I did cheat on Mother's Day for that strawberry pie, but I've always believed in permissible cheating on occasion. If you don't allow yourself some indulgence every few months then you won't follow through.

The kids broke my scales a few months ago, so I can't gauge my weight, but I found a method to use in the meantime that is probable a better gauge anyway. I took all my measurements and also tried on a dress I love that is about two sizes too small. I could manage to squeeze into it, but could not zip it. When I tried it on the other day I could zip it, but I'm busting at the seams. I lost two inches off my waist and one off my bust (darn it).

Because of financial restrictions, my diet is not as varied as I would like. I eat plain salad at least twice a day. I eat lean hamburger and chicken for almost every meal. My uncle brought me some great steaks last week and I really loved the indulgence. I'm generally a chicken person, though. I try to keep some snacks like pork rinds and almonds around. Sometimes my husband picks me up some sugar free candy for a treat. He also buys sugar free popsicles for Jamie and I. I also keep stocked on cheese. A couple of days ago he picked me up some low carb wraps. I can only eat one of them a day, but it's great for a change and Jamie loves them, too.

The best part of being on the diet is that I no longer need medication for my diabetes. Keeping my carbs really low keeps my blood sugar in check for the most part. I've had some highs, but nothing higher than one hundred sixty. That's much better than before when I would frequently have blood glucose levels of three to four hundred on medication.

I also have a good baseline to go by medically since I had blood work done about a week before starting the diet. In a few months I'll ask my doctor to check my blood work again and see if my liver enzymes, cholesterol, A1C levels, and blood counts have improved. I'll let you know when I do that. That's a ways off. I want to have been on the diet long enough to see some significant change. I was also weighed, so I'm going to try to stop in and use their scales so I can see my progress. I know I've lost weight, but it helps to see the numbers.

I didn't think I could do this on a budget. It's harder. I can't have all the extras that make this easier. I also didn't think I could do it without Matthew following the diet as well. I think that I've finally become so determined that nothing can bother me. I sit with Matthew and Jamie while they eat things I love but can't have and it doesn't bother me.

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