This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Passing on Our Childhood

Looking at my sleeping boy tonight I had to smile. He's been sleeping on the bed we got for McKalah to use when she spends the night for some reason. He's sleeping there right now. What's so sweet is that he's sleeping with his father's pillow case from his boyhood, a blanket my grandmother made for me when I was young, and both his Eeyores. It's a little bit of all of our childhoods surrounding my precious child. Wouldn't it be amazing if he had all those things when he has a child and they, too, can be surrounded by bits of all our lives. Maybe that's just profound in some way to my husband and I. It just seems really special.

The only thing that makes me a little sad is that he can't sleep with the baby blanket my grandmother made me when I was born. I loved it and cherished it for my entire life. My brother took it to his house at one time, not knowing what it was. It looked pretty new despite being used for so many years. His wife bleaches all blankets, sheets, and towels regardless of color. Besides fading the colors it also weakened the blanket and it developed holes and tears. I had been looking for it for a year and thought it was gone forever. I thought a cleaning company we had at our house that had taken our laundry off might have taken it and it didn't make it back. I was so sad about it. One day I visit my brother and there it is. I don't know whether to be ecstatic to have it back or furious that it is ruined. Anyway, I let Jamie sleep with it a few times. He loved it, but seeing that the damage was worsening with each wash I folded it and put it in the closet.

My husband has two sets of sheets that match the pillowcase that Jamie is sleeping with. He has bunk beds and we have used them for backup sheets a few times. The only problem is that the elastic on the fitted sheet is no longer functional. I think I can repair that, though. They are in surprisingly good condition. My husband is lamenting his missing lovey, himself, though. He had a Curious George when he was little that he took with him everywhere. Now he assumes his parents threw it away. It made him a bit sad when we were watching cartoons together and Curious George came on. Jamie got excited and said, "Yeah! It's George. I loooove George!" Matt said he wished he had his George to give him.

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