This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

What Does It Take to Bring in the Light?

As I set of to make this post, I glance beside me and there is a hallmark card. It was part of a gift set that someone bought me so many years ago. I have sent cards identical to this to many people over the years and now it sits there for me.

I believe we are HERE for a reason. As each DAY
unfolds, we see less of the SHADOW and MORE of the sun.

But how do you get to believe this when days just seem drowned with darkness? It really doesn't take much. It takes kind words from people who love you, it takes understanding and compassion for those around you. You're life doesn't have to change for you to begin to see the light.

I have been going through such difficult time emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. I felt alone and hurt by those who thought caring was tearing me down. Then a friends came over with her mother and her sister. I have known her for almost 16 years, but in the last few years we have not seen each other a lot due to our varying lives. They visited for a very short while and I didn't expect to really be able to enjoy their visit much since I had spent the last month crying seemingly endless tears.

They came and talked to me, sharing their stories of being where I am at various stages of their lives. Talking to someone I need not defend myself to or explain myself to was like having the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. All I needed was a little understanding. As I typed out a heartfelt thank you to my friend I cried many tears. However, for the first time in so long, they were not tears of bottomless sadness, but tears of gratitude and joy.

The greatest surprise after their visit was how long the light in my home would last. Every day I awake with optimism. I'm seeing less of the shadow and more of the sun every day.

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