This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Winding Down

I lay on the couch with my precious son laying across me. With one arm cradled around his body and his head resting on my arm, I watched him sleep so peacefully. His little hands were in fists like when he was a baby. One soft little hand gently gripped my index finger. His cheeks were rosy and his breathing soft. I felt the soft skin of his arms. I marveled at his fingers. I kissed the top of his head. The once downy soft blond hair is changing slowly to brown and is growing slightly more coarse, though his hair is thin. It smells vaguely of watermelon kids shampoo.

Midnight had come and gone, but I didn't want to move.

From my view above his head, he looks so angelic. I can still see my little baby in my growing boy. During the day I only get little hit and run hugs and kisses. He climbs on and off me. It's hard to get a moment to just cuddle him and relax. Our time together is filled with movement, noise, and rambunctious play. Once in awhile I get to just quietly enjoy this little being I worked so hard to get. He's so precious and so beautiful. The trials of the day melt away as I watch him sleep.

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