Where Did Dynisha Go?

Dynisha decided to go back home. I waited to post about it until I knew what was going on. Brianna told her that her mother didn't love her anymore because she left her. Dynisha believed it and didn't want her mother to be mad at her. I think she also got confused because my mother-in-law called me to bring her stuff home. I bagged it all up and Matthew took it to her. She asked why we brought all her stuff back. Matthew told her he thought she wanted it. I wish I had been there to talk to her. I think it gave her a message that we didn't want her anymore, too, no matter what we say now.

About a week ago my father-in-law brought her by because she wanted to spend the night. He didn't call before coming. I had contracted strep throat from Jamie and spiked a fever of 104. When they got here I told them about my fever and said that Dynisha was welcome, but she'd probably be better off not coming that day and possibly getting sick, too. My father-in-law agreed and made her go home. I really do think it was the best decision, but I'm afraid it could have reinforced the idea that I didn't want her here.

She came last week with her sister when her Pap was put in the hospital. I didn't get a chance to talk to her alone and I regret that. She spoke on her blog like she was forced to come here and I certainly don't want her to feel like she shouldn't be here. I want her to know that I love her and I want her. I just couldn't really talk to her with Brianna here. I did make it clear to both girls that they are both welcome here anytime. I just think I need to sit down and talk to Dynisha one on one.

Jamie cried for her for several nights. He really had a melt down the night that we packed her clothes up. Jamie's been sleeping in "her room" since she left. I think it makes him feel closer to her. The poor little guy keeps getting attached to girls living with us, first McKalah and now Dynisha, and then they are ripped away and he hardly ever sees them. I think he's lonely.

Home

Dynisha keeps talking about her "New Home." She wrote a cute post on her blog about it. I'm really happy she's enjoying being with us. It's not like spending a lot of time with us is new to her, but the prospect of staying is different. We have been through our first full week of going to school, homework, and chores. We have all survived, but more than that, we have thrived. Somehow having her here makes the family feel more complete.

There's only one problem. I know that her mother will make her go home one day. I don't know when. I'm just pretty sure it will happen. Matthew is, too, and it makes him sad. He can't stand to see her write about her new house or hear her talk about her new home. He says when she leaves it's going to be bad. I'm not sure if he's talking about for himself or for her. I suspect that it's a little bit of both.

For now I'm enjoying it and not worrying about what happens tomorrow. I enjoy washing her clothes and hanging them up for her. I enjoy making sure she gets her homework done. I enjoy her endless chatter, most of the time. I enjoy watching her and Jamie together. They love each other so much. Not to say it's always picture perfect. She and Jamie fight like brother and sister. She's been around his whole life and he simply idolizes her. The first thing he asks when he gets off the bus each day is, "Is Isha home?"

When the kids headed off to school today it was clear, but chilly. By 10:00pm it was quite clear that the schools would be closing, though the television never made the announcement. Snow ws falling hard and laying fast. I was worried about Dynisha. Would she walk to my house in the snow? Would she ride the bus to her parents house? I didn't know. I couldn't reach her mother and I don't have custody. I would have to wait and see. It wasn't long until a car pulled into the driveway. Her father had brought her home.

Making Dynisha a Blog

After posting all about Dynisha earlier today, I decided to set her up a blog of her own. I think it will be a good way for her to express herself, practice her typing, and learn valuable writing skills. We spent a good chunk of the evening fixing it up and letting her type up her first couple of blogs. I think it turned out really, really cute. I'll definitely monitor it and we've discussed not putting her last name, address, school, phone number, etc. on the blog. She won't be posting any time soon without my assistance anyway. I think it's just so sweet. We named it Bubble Gum & Lipstick. It seemed to suit her.

All About Dynisha

Dynisha really likes to spot herself on my blog. I decided to make a post all about her. I found a questionnaire for her to answer and here it is...

Name? Dynisha Nycole

How old are you? Nine

Siblings? Two, biological siblings that I know of. Two adopted siblings. I have an older biological brother named Christopher who I have not met. I have a sister named Brianna. I was adopted and Matthew is my brother by adoption and Leona is my sister by adoption. I haven't seen Leona in years and don't remember much about her.

Best physical features? I think my hair is beautiful and unique. I love my hair. I wish it was longer, though. When it was long it was really curly and I liked it.

Celebrity look-a-likes? I don't know. I don't think I really look like anyone.

Favourite subjects at school? I have two, art and music.

Place you'd most like to visit? Disney Land

Last CD you bought? Camp Rock

Last book you bought? Witches

Favourite sport? Soccer

Favourite food? Pickles

Weaknesses? I don't like to do chores, but I have to do them anyways.

If you could work with any celebrity who would it be and what would you do? Vanessa Hudgins. I would love to go shopping with her.

Favourite song from your childhood? The Rush from Aly & AJ

Do you like any boys? What do y0u like about him? (giggling) That would have to be a guy at school named Logan. I like that he is very smart. He has short blond hair and blue eyes. He is verrry cute. He is my science partner.

What is your favourite genre of music? Pop

What inspires you? Watching singers on TV makes me want to sing.

Favourite TV shows? Kim Possible, iCarly, and That's So Raven

Favorite Movies? All the High School Musical movies and Lucky Clover

Which famous character are you most like? The way Vanessa acts on High School Musical, that's sort of the way I act.

What are your best qualities? People like the way I treat them. I'm nice to my friends.

What are your worst qualities? I am hyper and sometimes I talk too much.

If you could date anyone famous who would you date? Zac Efron from High School Musical

Pet peeves? I hate it when people scream. I hate it when people drum on things.

What do you want to do when you grow up? I want to be a singer. I'll probably be a doctor half of the time. I want to be married and have a baby and have a big house and a nice car. I want to have a verrry handsome husband.

Change

Changing habits and ways of doing things is difficult for anyone. We all get used to doing things one way and if someone comes in and makes a change, it's really hard. Dynisha is learning this right now. It's a lot of little things. Most she doesn't mind, but others are harder. Putting your clothes in your own laundry basket and the towels in the bathroom laundry basket. Take your coat and book bag to your room, don't drop them by the front door. Put your dishes in the sink. You can't leave them in your room until I clean up and find them.

Yesterday, after letting her relax and play awhile after school, I asked if she had homework. "Yes, I have a book to read, but I've already read it. I just need you to sign the paper." I made her read it out load again. She read it to Jamie while I listened. I told her that I would never sign that she did something unless I witnessed her doing it. She said, "Momma says I have to read to myself. She can't stand to listen to me read. She says it bothers her nerves." How sad. Now she has an audience who really appreciates her reading. Jamie sat in rapture. He pretty much idolizes her and he loves books.

She lost the pink cup that she was drinking from the night before. I made her go find it. She pitched a little bit of a fit, "What if I can't find it?!" I assured her that she could. She stomped around the house a bit, but as soon as she actually looked for it she found it and I put it in the dishwasher.

She loves her room. I gave her an alarm clock and told her she could start getting herself up in the morning. We all get up at the same time, but I think it's good for kids to be responsible for their own daily routines. She complained because Matt had some scary skull as a background on the computer in her room and it sat beside her alarm clock. She said it scared her in the mornings. I quickly googled "girly backgrounds" and found a pretty pink floral she was happy with. This morning she hit the snooze button three times, but she got herself up.

Getting her to do chores is not a chore at all. I suspect this will change eventually. Right now she is determined to please us. I imagine once she is really comfortable (assuming her mom doesn't change her mind) she will start balking. I could be wrong. Right now it's really pleasant. I told her, "I'm going to clean the big bathroom. You and Jamie can clean the little bathroom." She smiled sweetly, "You don't have to clean the big bathroom. I can do both."

Dynisha Packs Her Bags

It's been a hectic weekend, but a good one, despite a house full of stuffy and runny noses. Dynisha walked to our house Saturday and wanted to spend the night. Her house is very full. Her grandmother and her great grandfather just moved in. She has to share a room with her grandmother. It's not an ideal situation. She asked us if she could come live with us. We told her she could if it was okay with her mother.

Matthew went and talked to his mom and she said that it was fine with her as long Dynisha came home once a week. So it looks like we've added a member to our household. We'll fix her up a room over the next few days. We have plenty of spare bedrooms. Jamie has two himself, but we're going to give her the guest room, which is larger. Tonight she is sleeping in Jamie's room like she usually does when she spends the night. While the kids are at school I will fix up the guest room for her as best I can. Right now it's full of Christmas stuff we haven't hauled back up to the attic yet. The hard thing is that the room doesn't have a closet. We wanted it for a workout room and guest room combo so we put a murphy bed in the closet. For now I've cleared out space in our hall closet for her clothes. If this truly turns out to be a permanent situation we'll definitely redo the room.

Dynisha is really happy. I can tell she's also worried we won't really let her stay. She pulled me aside and asked if I thought we'd get along when she moved in. I told her that we wouldn't always. They'll be times when she's mad at us and times we're mad at her, but that we love her and that won't change and we won't make her leave. I explained about how things would be different with her visiting versus her living here (rules, chores, homework, etc.). We are also all aware that her mother can change her mind at any point.

Dynisha Sings

Dynisha loves to sing. She has a beautiful singing voice, too. She asked me how old you have to be to enter American Idol. When I told her that she would have to be sixteen she was sorely disappointed. I promised her that if American Idol was still going when she turned sixteen that I would take her to audition myself.

She sings in the choir at school. It seems like it's fairly active. The sang at the Knoxville Fantasy of Trees, Linda Brown Realty Open House, the Oak Ridge Tree Lighting Ceremony, and are the Oak Ridge City Christmas Parade on December 13.

I'm glad she loves to sing. I've been singing since I could talk. It gives us a common bond. I have had a great many opportunities due to my voice. I hope that she will have the same experience.