This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Monday, February 2, 2009


Dynisha keeps talking about her "New Home." She wrote a cute post on her blog about it. I'm really happy she's enjoying being with us. It's not like spending a lot of time with us is new to her, but the prospect of staying is different. We have been through our first full week of going to school, homework, and chores. We have all survived, but more than that, we have thrived. Somehow having her here makes the family feel more complete.

There's only one problem. I know that her mother will make her go home one day. I don't know when. I'm just pretty sure it will happen. Matthew is, too, and it makes him sad. He can't stand to see her write about her new house or hear her talk about her new home. He says when she leaves it's going to be bad. I'm not sure if he's talking about for himself or for her. I suspect that it's a little bit of both.

For now I'm enjoying it and not worrying about what happens tomorrow. I enjoy washing her clothes and hanging them up for her. I enjoy making sure she gets her homework done. I enjoy her endless chatter, most of the time. I enjoy watching her and Jamie together. They love each other so much. Not to say it's always picture perfect. She and Jamie fight like brother and sister. She's been around his whole life and he simply idolizes her. The first thing he asks when he gets off the bus each day is, "Is Isha home?"

When the kids headed off to school today it was clear, but chilly. By 10:00pm it was quite clear that the schools would be closing, though the television never made the announcement. Snow ws falling hard and laying fast. I was worried about Dynisha. Would she walk to my house in the snow? Would she ride the bus to her parents house? I didn't know. I couldn't reach her mother and I don't have custody. I would have to wait and see. It wasn't long until a car pulled into the driveway. Her father had brought her home.

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