"Accidents"

I'm frustrated with Jamie's potty training. Jamie has been potty trained for almost a year. He basically potty trained in one day, but then he stopped going to the potty like he was supposed to. He's never been night trained. He just sleeps too hard.

I was concerned when he started school. Some days at home he would pee in his pants multiple times, not to mention peeing in air vents and such. The school asked that we send a spare outfit in case of an accident. I sent two. He hasn't had a single accident at school since he started. The problem is that he has one each day as soon as he gets home. I take him to the potty immediately, knowing he has this habit, but to no avail. He cries and says "Pees all gone!" As soon as my head is turned he pees. I don't get it!!

My husband wants to punish him, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm just scared that he can't help it somehow. When I was a little girl I had bladder problems. I ended up having two minor surgeries when I was young. One doctor told my mother that I was spoiled and what I really needed was a good spanking. Yeah, all girls love to be made fun of. I even peed my pants on my first date. It makes me sick to think that some doctor thought I pees my pants because I was spoiled. I had accidents regularly until I was about fifteen. You can see why I would be quite hesitant to punish a child for wetting their pants.

The problem is that I believe that he can help it. He can go all day at school without peeing in his pants, but he can't at home? It doesn't make any sense. I just don't know what to do.