This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Thursday, February 5, 2009


I have been on a decent sleep schedule for awhile now. Suddenly, I'm flipped back to sleepless nights and it's driving me insane. Here it is, after 3:00 in the morning, and I'm typing mindlessly on my blog. There's nothing else to do. I can't get into the usual insomniac infomercials. I'm so sleepy my eyes are watering, but when I lie down I just can't seem to fall asleep. I get a bad case of what I call "the thinks." I've tried counting or using imagery. I've actually tried to visualize sheep and count them.

I've been to kiss Jamie at least a dozen times. He sleeps with his eyes slightly open sometimes. Even after all these years it still freaks me out just a little. I wonder why he does this. I wonder why it doesn't make his eyes dry. Sometimes I touch his eyelids softly to try to make him shut them, but it doesn't usually work.

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