This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Friday, January 30, 2009

One of Those Days

Today was one of those days. I had a headache I couldn't kick. The kids needed something every five seconds. Matt worked late.

Jamie's bus driver reported that he did "pretty well" today, but that he was kicking the back of the seat. I've never known a child who didn't, so I won't complain too much. I did tell him not to do it anymore.

He began fussing for Dynisha straight off the bus. I've explained to him every day that Dynisha comes home after he does. She gets in about an hour later. I gave him the ice cream he missed out on the day before.

Dynisha came home and immediately the two began to fight. Both were hitting. Both were yelling. Did I mention I had a headache? I tried to appease them both, but there was no use. Dynisha locked herself in her room and Jamie cried that he wanted Isha.

Brianna called twice today. I told her to come over. She said she would come over tomorrow. She wants Dynisha to come home. Dynisha does not want to go. I don't know if she genuinely misses her or if she is just afraid that Dynisha is getting something she is not. Brianna does not like to spend time at my house anymore. I can't say I really enjoy having her much anymore, either. She's got attitude and she only comes over if she wants something. She hates my rules, which are not that demanding. Last time her parents dropped her off she was cussing, screaming, and crying so much that I really wanted to smack her. I wouldn't smack her, though. She's only twelve. She had wanted to stay home alone so she could hang out with her friends, who are boys.

The day wasn't all bad. I got my Gymboree order today, which is something I really was looking forward to. I had forgotten it was arriving today and the doorbell had startled me. Both kids rushed to the door and looked out the window. "It's UPS, Laura!!" I kind of felt bad opening up the package in front of Dynisha, since it was all new clothes for Jamie. She's such a bright and bubbly child, though. She seemed just as excited as me as we went through the new additions to Jamie's wardrobe.

When I showed Jamie the "My Mom Rocks" shirt he said, "Mommy doesn't rock. Daddy rocks." I laughed and showed him the "My Dad Rocks" shirt.

I fixed a good size roast for dinner. We ate late hoping Matthew would make it in time. I ate one slice of roast and the kids finished the remainder. Matthew had canned chili when he got home. I couldn't say no, they don't normally eat that well. I did call Matthew before I gave them his portion. He had been eying the roast for days. He said to give it to the kids if they liked it so much. Poor guy.

After dinner my stomach was acting up. Vomiting and a headache are a bad combination. It feels like your brain might explode. If you have never experienced the two together, I suggest you just take my word for it.

After the kids were bathed and ready for bed, I got lots of sweet hugs and kisses. I picked Jamie up and nuzzled him, all sweet and smelling of soap. Mmmm, I love it right after bath time when the kids are settled, that is, when the kids are settled. I enjoy it when they are gentle and snugly. Wrapped in his towel, I call Jamie my baby burrito. I've been calling him that after his bath since he was a baby. Now he says, "No, I'm not a baby burrito. I'm Jamie." He laughs and we have a play argument about it.

Now the house is quiet. Jamie is sleeping with Dynisha. Matthew is watching TV, and I'm taking a few moments to blog about the day while I do more of the never ending laundry. They look so sweet and peaceful. It's easy to forget the trials of the day when you look at those sleeping angels.

Mostly, tonight, I'm thinking how lucky I am to have these days. I'm thinking how blessed I am and how fleeting life can be. I'm thinking how much I love my baby and my little sister-in-law. I'm thinking that I don't know what I would do if anything happened to them. I guess today was a really good day.

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