This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

First School Day

I was amazed when we got him to the school. He acted just a little shy going in the doors. The staff that had met him months ago at the evaluation remembered him by name. It seemed like everyone already knew it. They have much better memories than I do. I don't even remember meeting all of them. He was all smiles, even when he wasn't quite ready to talk. He took one of his alternate Eeyores (his transitional object or lovey) and he only needed him for the first few minutes.

Matthew and I stayed for about half an hour, mostly for our own benefit. Jamie only needed me long enough to tour the room and see all the fun stuff there is to do. His teacher showed him the easel with letters and numbers and he began lining letters up on the book case. After that he put them away and went to play a shape game at the table with other children. I managed to pull him away long enough to get a goodbye kiss.

I thought I was going to make it without any tears. Honestly, I was happy to see him having so much fun and I didn't have many fears about leaving. Even so, as we walked down the hall to leave the building I felt the tears well up. I tried to stifle them until I got to the van, but it was no use. They came and I had no control over it.

The house was so quiet today while we waited for time to go get him. We had less than three hours to wait. It really did seem like a long time. Maybe at some point I will enjoy some time to myself, but right now I don't really like it. I don't quite know what to do with myself. I'm glad Matthew is on vacation this week. I was so glad when the time finally came to go get my baby. We got to the school and they brought him out to me. I gave him hugs and loaded him into the van. He told me about his day at school.

He had bacon, eggs, and milk for breakfast. He had hamburger and french fries with milk for lunch. He played cookie shapes game, went outside to play, somebody pushed him but he didn't cry, he read books, they did music, he saw McKalah, and based on his description of a loud noise, fire, and going outside I think they had a fire drill.

In his communication folder was a note...

She included a paper with six pictures of Jamie taken throughout the day.

I was worried he might wet his pants and sent two changes of clothes. When I picked him up he was wearing the same outfit I took him in. He did pee his pants on the way home, though.

I wish I knew more details about his day. Did he participate well? Did he do as he was told? Did he get along with the other children? Did he try to stay by himself or did he play good with a group? Did he take to any specific child? Did he need Eeyore? Did he cry any? Did he show any particular strengths or weaknesses?

Can't I just set up a webcam and watch him live all day long?????

0 Remarks: