This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


Sometimes I feel like a teenager still, and not in a good way. I feel so awkward and self-conscious at times. I feel like I don't put out the image I want to project. My clothes never seem to fit just right and I don't think I have a good sense of style, at least when it comes to dressing myself. I want to look stylish, poised, and well put together. I just never seem to pull it off. I worry about being over-weight. I worry about my hair. If I put try to wear it curly it falls flat, if I try to wear it straight it frizzes, not to mention it has become really thin. I worry about my face, little burst capillaries on my nose, a few wrinkles that I feel I'm too young to have. I can spend an hour doing my makeup and a few minutes later I look worse than when I started. When do I get to stop worrying about these things?

I take a lot of pride in Jamie's appearance. His clothes are very important to me. I always want him to have the cutest clothes. I want the same thing for myself, but I can't seem to do it. I think my appearance is going to be especially important next fall when school starts. I want to make a good impression on teachers and other parents. You don't get a second chance at a first impression, you know. I don't want them to see a sloppy mom. I don't want to look like I don't care. Obviously, I do.

I try to tell myself that appearances don't really matter, but let's be honest, they do. Appearances matter a lot in this world.

1 Remarks:

Ashley March 19, 2009 at 8:21 AM  

Unfortunately, you're right...and I totally feel the same way you do! If you come up with a solution, please share!