This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

St. Patrick's Day

For St. Patrick's day, Matthew and I took Brianna, Dynisha, & Jamie to the playground. Dynisha was so excited to go, but when we got there she spent most of the time sulking for no apparent reason.

When we first arrived, Jamie immediately ran to the fort. The girls followed, but quickly wanted to go on one of the trails behind the school. We told them to wait for a minute and Dynisha started to fuss. We told her to just let Jamie play for a minute and then we'd give them a turn to do what they wanted to do. Brianna was fine, but Dynisha crossed her arms and made exaggerated sighs and frustrated noises.

We gave Jamie a few minutes and then took the kids on one of the trails. Brianna and Jamie rushed ahead laughing, and enjoying the walk. Dynisha got sullen and started complaining she wanted to go back. The trail was extremely short so it took all of five minutes to walk to the end of it and back. We again let Jamie play a little while on the fort and swings. Dynisha started to take off to another trail alone and we told her she had to wait for us. She got mad and stomped around a bit then sat on the ground sulking. We let Jamie play about 10 minutes and then headed for the trail Dynisha wanted to go to. Now she refused to get up from her sulking spot. I just couldn't understand why she was acting like that. I asked her what was wrong, but she just yelled at me, "Nothing's wrong, I just don't want to go!" I told her that I didn't understand, a moment before she was mad because we weren't going.

Jamie had a good time at the playground and I'm not sure he noticed his sullen little aunt. In my eyes she put a bit of a damper on things. I just wanted to have a fun day with all my family. I was extremely frustrated with her temperament. I pressed her for what was wrong and why she was acting this way and she said, "I just want to act this way." I guess that explains it all?

Though the playground was a bit of a damper, we were undeterred and continued to try to make a great family night. We went to Little Caesars Pizza and got pizza, bread sticks, and soda. We rented the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua, which Dynisha and Jamie chose. The kids all seemed really happy when we got home. They enjoyed the pizza and the movie. I wasn't in the mood for pizza, it's not my favorite food, so I made some pasta and veggies instead. I did eat some of the bread sticks with my pasta.

I fell asleep during the movie and when I awoke, I realized that it was late and I hadn't let the girls make the St. Patrick's Day cupcakes like I had promised. Despite the fact that the sun was setting, I decided not to let them down. I asked them if they thought they could handle the cake mix on their own and they said they could. Maybe I should have known better, but I was cooking well before I was their age, so I thought a cake mix would be simple for them and that they would feel good making it on their own. I didn't leave them alone, but I wasn't paying attention to what they were doing. Before I knew it they had put in 1-1/2 cups of oil instead of 1/2 and 1-1/2 cups of water instead of 1-1/3. When I went to check on their progress I could see that there was definitely too much liquid. I had them show me on the measuring cup how much of each thing they put in. We had to dump the mix. Dynisha stomped off to her room. I knew I had to get more cake mix. Matthew agreed to run to the store and get another package. Brianna decided she wanted to go home so he took her on the way.

Matthew returned from the store a little after 10:00pm, way past Jamie's bedtime, but I didn't want to break my promise. I made the cupcakes and let Dynisha use the mixer so that she got to participate in making them (okay, I was also on the phone and couldn't hear over the mixer if I did it myself). I can't believe I let the kids have cupcakes around 11:00pm, but it was a holiday! I plead special occasion!!

They both fell asleep about as fast as their heads hit the pillows.

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