This blog is just about my life and mostly revolves around my son, Jamie. This blog is a combination of everything, whether it may be a new recipe I tried, a good freebie I found, something funny Jamie said, or feelings I'm having about life in general. There's little rhyme or reason. I'll never win any blogging awards, but I enjoy writing about our lives and I mostly do it for my son. It's so easy to forget moments over the years. I've got all these little tidbits of our life in print and I hope that someday Jamie can enjoy them.

I called this blog Mother of Life, Mother of Loss because of my issues with pregnancy loss and the joy of finally bringing this wonderful person into the world. Truly, I feel the pains of loss, but you won't see too much of that here. I am blessed and I am, above all else, a mother of life.

After all the years of infertility and loss, Matthew and I were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. We were pregnant with twins, but unfortunately, Baby A could not stay with us. Baby B grew into a healthy and happy baby girl that we named Bella Marie. We are so blessed to have two beautiful children.


Sunday, March 22, 2009

A Spontaneous Day

We had an eventful day yesterday. We went to Toys R Us to get our free Thomas the Train Toy. We selected a Lights and Sounds Percy. Jamie played for awhile with some toys they had out. They were having a special little people workshop and had coloring pages, free DVDs, and Little People Play sets. There was a racing set that Jamie just loved.

Matthew wondered off to look at other toys while I stood around oohing and aahing at all the new babies and felt the pangs of jealousy brought on by all the pregnant bellies around me. I swear I've never seen so many pregnant women and new babies at one time! I mentioned it to Matthew on the way out of the store. He had noticed, too. "I wasn't going to say anything" he said. "So you noticed, too?" I had asked, a little surprised, "How could I not?" he replied.

Matt ended up buying Jamie a small Lego set while we were there. It's very exciting now that Jamie is getting old enough to love the things that his father loved as a boy.

Our plan had been to go on to a salvage company and see what materials they had that we need to replace our kitchen floor (that's for a later story), but Jamie asked to go to the zoo. We have a membership pass to the zoo, yet we haven't been in several months. With little thought at all we buckled up and headed to the zoo.

The zoo was surprisingly crowded... with pregnant women and new babies! What in the world is going on here?? There was one woman who must have been eight or nine months pregnant that was driving me insane. We saw her everywhere we went and every time I saw her she was smoking. I know some women have a very difficult time quitting during pregnancy, but for goodness sake at least CUT BACK!

We didn't do a full tour of the zoo, mostly Jamie wanted to see the meerkats. "I love the meerkats!" he told us all the way there. He got irritated when we started to pause at the elephants because they were very close tot he fence, the closest we have ever observed. He did linger at the penguins for a few minutes and a new play place they set up. When we arrived at the meerkat enclosure, we found two baby meerkats nursing. They were just six weeks old and really precious. Everyone crowded around to see the little darlings. Once Jamie had his fill of the meerkats we went to grab him a snack to tide him over until dinner. We picked up a drink and got him a corn dog. After he ate he asked to see the gorilla's.

We came to Chimp Village first. Chimps are one of my favorite animals to observe, especially when they are playful. The addition of a baby Chimp last summer has made observing the Chimps even more entertaining. Having a zoo membership means that we visited a lot during the summer, and we've been watching little George, the baby chimp grow. He had grown a lot since the last time we visited. He is so adorable! We watched him play with his mother and another female. They flipped him and turned him gently, like a mother teaching her child gymnastics. Jamie and I marveled at the new baby briefly, but the Gorilla's were foremost on Jamie's mind, so we didn't linger long.

The gorilla's are a group of animals that either totally disappoint by keeping their backs to you or they put on a show. There doesn't seem to be any in between for them. They didn't disappoint this weekend. As Jamie and two little girls pressed their faces against the glass, trying hard to see a gorilla that was almost out of sight and facing away from them, the gorilla turned around and headed into the room. The kids got excited and started waving at him. He came straight up to the glass, straight up to Jamie and stood there looking at Jamie. "He's looking at me, Mommy!" I couldn't believe he came right up to Jamie. The two of them, eye to eye, separated only by a sheet of glass. I wondered what the gorilla was thinking. I'm guessing something along the lines of, "You guys are weird."

We managed to leave the zoo at the same time as my pregnant nemesis. No matter how much I tried to avoid her, she just always seemed to be around. As we started the van she walked in front of us, smoking her millionth cigarette. I fumed a little as we left the parking lot but quickly cheered up and continued to enjoy my family time. We ran to Target and got Jamie a few pairs of shorts, then we ran and grabbed a bite to eat. Jamie insisted he wanted steak so we went to the Outback. Matthew and I ordered a Bloomin' Onion and House side salads for dinner and we ordered Jamie a Joey sirloin. He was happy.

There was one thing we wanted to do that we couldn't with Jamie, so we called my mother-in-law and asked her if she could watch Jamie for a few minutes. We ran to the dollar store and Walmart to pick up some items for Easter. We saw lots more pregnant women and brand new babies. Matthew and I discussed the reasons for more spring babies on the way back to get Jamie. Surprisingly, besides both agreeing that we wished we could have more children, neither of us became melancholy. I remember what it was like before I had Jamie. A day like this would have reduced me to a blubbering mess. I yearn for more, but I have some sense of peace now that I didn't have before. Seeing multitudes of pregnant bellies and brand new little people might cause a ping of jealousy and a thought of what might be, but it doesn't control my happiness anymore. I had a great day.

We got back to my mother-in-law's house and gathered up all the kids, we rented Twilight. The girls had really wanted to see it. I had some misgivings about it. I knew it was a popular vampire movie and was afraid that it would be really scary and gory for the kids, but was pleasantly surprised that they left scenes of carnage mostly up to the imagination. Jamie didn't watch it. We sent him on to bed. After the movie was over our living room looked like a popcorn tornado hit. I cleaned up and shooed the girls off to bed. Matthew and I stayed up a little longer and laid on the couch together watching TV. We had started out the day with nothing really planned, but we ended up having a pretty exciting day. The only downside to a spontantious day is that you don't know you need a camera.

1 Remarks:

Ashley March 23, 2009 at 8:10 AM  

I think sounds like an AWESOME day! I adore days that aren't planned where you get to spend the whole day together doing things you enjoy.